I did not know I had a choice! Finally, GOD came to me as a Gift Of Desperation, and I heard Him (in Psalm 81:10) singing:
I had not realized that I was starving or that His Holy Spirit in me was languishing. I did not know that the Word of God actually feeds the Holy Spirit. I did not know I was in the midst of famine -- a famine of His Word.
Today, I know I have a choice. Now, daily, I choose Him -- first thing, before all the hurly-burly, each and every dawning. I shut the door (so to speak) behind me, and He feeds me by hand His morsels of Bread and sips of Living Water. He call it the womb of the morning -- a priceless gift (Psalm 110:3). And every day is Christmas morning.